Walk into a Dream

Burnt

It’s been a while since an entry, I know. I’ve done a lot of pondering about my life, my love, and my passion.

Most of the time people do not understand why things are the way they are; why things have to happen; why certain things do not. Sometimes it takes a moment and sometimes you never find out why things turned out the way they did.

I’ve been bombarded by things. I know that’s an obscure and overused word. But things have taken up my time and energy that at the end of the day, I don’t get my things done. All I do is dream, dream about the day that I figure out my career and life. But needless to say, I haven’t figured that out yet.

My job takes a lot of my time, even when I’m not there. I’m constantly getting emails, texts, and calls from coworkers during my off-hours. When I’m not at the office, I’m really not at the office. If this was my dream job, I wouldn’t mind investing my time in it.

My involvement in church has eaten up my time. Weekly and monthly meetings, ongoing plans in the works. I’m constantly reminding myself that this is for the good. But I shouldn’t have to remind myself, I should want to do it selflessly.

Maybe it’s because I’m too ‘nice’ to say no. Maybe it’s because I care too much about the company that I always follow through.

I feel burnt out. I feel like I need to work out my life first and then carry on with my other responsibilities. But, God says to draw near to Him and He will straighten my path. I think I’ve been serving as a means to draw near to Him.